For the past few months I’ve been heavily thinking about my future, and what I’d like to study or do in the next few years. I never really gave a shit about the whole ‘where do you see yourself in 5/10 years?’ kinda question, but I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately and I actually have no fucking idea where I am going to be within the next 5/10 years. I used to have a pretty concrete idea on what I wanted to do with my life but now I don’t really have an idea at all. I have a few passions here and there but making a career and living out of them kind of makes me feel like it’d ruin it for me (but then again, it could also possibly rule). Like, throughout my final years of high school, I was pretty certain undertaking something to do with art would be sick, but fuck making money from doing something I love (and something I currently can’t do at the moment as I am going through the longest phase of drawing nothing half decent I have ever gotten in my life and it’s killing me {I deleted the photo of that stork I drew because it sucks and I am ashamed of it hahahahaha}. I am actually so fucking frustrated with myself and not being able to draw it’s ridiculous, I am furious at the moment haha). And in the last few months, I thought it’d be a sick idea to pursue my childhood dreams of becoming a scientist and studying astronomy. So I applied for a science course and I ended up getting into it, but I’ve come to the decision that I am not going to do it anymore, and I’m going to use this year to kind of clear my head in regards to what I want to do, so that I can get a clearer idea of exactly what I want. I know I’ve only basically lived a quarter of my life, but, I’d like to be able to figure out something to do to survive/make an earning. I’m probably going to work full time this year and just try to save a heap of cash and attempt to open up my own shop or something in the next 5/10 years. Buying my own little shop with an apartment above it would be tha dreee333eaaaaa4444mmm (so would living in a forest but y’know, this would be sick for now). And selling a heap of DIY art, clothing, crafts, music, zines, etc inside it would ruuuuuule. And helping people with promotion/getting there stuff out there would rule as well. Imagine all the great people you’d get to come across owning something like that. Ahhh. Even decking the place out like a small cinema during the later hours of the night, but with bean bags, pillows and blankets all over the floor and hosting movie nights with themes depending on the night would be sick. Hosting shows some nights would be sick as well. Omg overflowing with ideas at the moment. I am too lazy to re-read all this bullshit and actually try to make it make sense, so sorry about that if you actually took the time to read it all. And, even though I’m pretty much directionless and furious with myself for being stupid (drawing wise) at the moment, I’m still insanely happy with my life. But uuuuuggggghh.